The last time I really wrote something (other than my books from 2017), I mentioned that I had endometriosis. I gave the smallest bit of background for my story. I’m still finding out other bits of my story. For just a general overview, it was mainly the incoherent ramblings of going through Lupron. It think it is time to talk more about my story.
Because of my endometriosis, I have had to modify my diet. This means I can’t have caffeinated coffee, excessive sugar (though not that much of an issue anymore), or fried things. Both of these things have made up a majority of my diet for years. I’ve drunk coffee for the longest time. I remember going to my grandparent’s house drinking a small cup of coffee a couple of times a year. I live in America, where fast food is plentiful and mostly fried. In 2016, I remember having a harder time eating and drinking on trips for (to me) no apparent reasons. I haven’t gone gluten-free or vegan because these things don’t really mess me up.
In high school, I lived in the South. For Northerners (or Westerners who don’t know), fried chicken is an acceptable meal for breakfast. Especially for school breakfasts. I ate fried chicken biscuits whenever they were available in high school (because the other options were shaky). During those days, I would have a horrible feeling in the bottom of my stomach. This is where the title of this blog comes from. I was ignorant that something was wrong in my body. Was I stupid? No. I wasn’t informed.
A major rabbit trail: Fast food does not cater to those with diets like mine (even though I know my “diet” isn’t that hard). I avoid red meat when I can in fast food in addition to the fried thing. I have a list on my phone that ranks the best options to the worst made at on of the latest encounters at bad fast food. It factors things like: grilled chicken, side options, and drink options.
Anyway, back to ignorance vs. stupidity. On Sunday, I drank caffeinated coffee because the place I went ran out of decaf and it’s that or soda or bottled water, and I wanted to play a stupid games to win stupid prizes. It made me flashback to high school and eating those stupid fried chicken biscuits. My first thought was honestly shame. I thought, How dare you eat those fried chicken biscuits. They were the source of so much pain. How stupid could you have been? I have the same thoughts when thinking about eating fried pickles or ordering any drink with any “processed” sugar. After I lecture myself for a long time in my own mind, I have to remind myself that I wasn’t being stupid. I was in the beginning stages of an awful disease that wasn’t going to manifest itself for another 10 years.