“Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself.” -JK Rowling via Dumbledore
Three months ago, I went into surgery for ovarian cysts. I was diagnosed with them in March. However, I came out of surgery with no cysts but a diagnosis of endometriosis (from here on out referred as just endo). It took a few days to come down from the medication for me to fully sit up a computer to Google my new found buddy.
Until that day three months ago, I’d never heard of endo. It sounded like a disease that no one else had or was extremely rare. I was surprised to find out that 1 in 10 women had it. I’ve been quite open with my diagnosis of endo and am surprised how many women I know have it. Even the women who don’t have it know of at least one women who fights the fight. It’s little wonder when some women’s diseases are more unmentionable than other women’s disease. Endo is one of the harder ones to talk about to some people because even though I know I’m talking to adults, you never know how they are going to react.
For those who don’t know, a 18 minute overview:
A big barrier of thought was the incurable part. I’m currently taking Lupron which induces menopause which is a temporary fix. After I’m securely in menopause, I’m going to be taking hormones that keep my body in a state of menopause until the time has come for me to come out of menopause. This is one of the treatments talked about in the video. But, I know this won’t cure me. Even if I have to get a hysterectomy, it won’t cure me. The scariest part of this entire ordeal is the not knowing when I’m getting out of menopause. It’s also knowing that several of my dear friends will get pregnant during this hiatus in my uterus, and even though I love them dearly, it will still hurt.
Back to Voldemort for a second. The quote at the top of the page was one of the first coherent thoughts that I had after my surgery. It was my first rambling. The fear of naming the disease was never a thought in my mind. I wasn’t going to be held in fear of a name on a piece of paper. I’m not saying that I’m over the fear of all of the unknowns with this disease. They scare me. I have a list on my phone on why it’s okay at this moment for me to have this disease, just for the affirmation that at this point in my life I will survive. But even if that list needs to change, I will not let the name of endometriosis scare me.